Comments from the Peanut Gallery

So among the lots and lots of supportive comments my blog post from yesterday about the raid has received, there are two standouts for being rather the opposite.

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Sidewinder says “Aren’t you satisfied with the brand new piano your gay faced BF begged for? Go “compose” something or “share your gift”. LOLOLOLOL!! BOTH OF YOU, STOP TRYING TO BE RELEVANT. You come across as a real pain in the ass. You’re a hooker, your BF is a hooker. JUST BE ONE. And please tell your better half that article about telling is mom about his “adult life” was creepy, inappropriate, and downright strange.”

Gay man With Degree writes “This is being sent around by gay men to other gay men as a gag The Idiotic ramblings of a narcotic corrupted brain. Who other than a dope with a brain functioning lower than that of someone with Down’s syndrome would compare slavery laws to prostitution law’s? And saying there’s no other employment opportunities in the world for young gay men is laughable and a pathetic attempt to justify your laziness and retardation Get a life looser”

I couldn’t have asked for better examples of exactly the sort of stupidity I’m talking about, not even looking at the misspellings and faulty punctuation, or the sophomoric handles and email addresses.  Here are two gay men, one of whom has to trumpet the fact that he has a diploma to give any weight to his statements.  These guys have swallowed the societal misconception, hook, line, and sinker, that there are classes of people who should be treated like animals.  And they’re just the men to do it.

Here’s the thing.  I know people are going to disagree with me on the Rentboy events and the nature of sex work, and that’s fine.  But it seems if you have a good reason to disagree with me, you might present such an argument.

These two gentlemen have only taken the time to find my blog and post, certainly, but all they’ve done is call me names.  Perhaps they lack the ability to formulate a reason to disagree with me, but I suspect it’s just laziness.  Anyone with any intelligence who wants to see progress would say “But wait, mightn’t such-and-such be true, or don’t you think…?”  Instead all they can do is cast insubstantiatible aspersions on my character, of which the majority people will only see evidence to the contrary.  I’m sorry, but if someone hasn’t got a good argument for his position, regardless of whether he’ll ever recognize it, he has lost the fight.

The sad thing is that these comments are couched in such a disparaging, condescending tone.  If these men had a real argument, they would have presented one.  Lacking one, but still feeling some compulsion to beat me, they’ve resorted to slinging monkey shit.  If either of them felt secure in their work, in their sexuality, in their life, they wouldn’t feel like they need to place someone, anyone, into a lower position than they feel they are.  Being a porn star and a public figure makes us prime lightning rods for this sort of abuse, but it means nothing.

Are we relevant?  Are these gentlemen going to be our relevant voices, with this negativity and contempt?  Is this what we want for ourselves?

This insecurity in our ranks is what poisons us as a demographic.  If the world at large has a low opinion of us, it’s because this is the sort of respect with which we so often seem to be treating ourselves.  It’s not unique to gay men; of course this sort of need to find someone to disparage to make one’s self feel better happens across all divisions of society.  However, we as gay men are particularly broken folk.  Many of us spent our formative years hearing repeatedly how these feelings and inclinations which are so inherent to our beings are vile, evil, and depraved.  Is it any surprise that the less thoughtful of us would internalize these criticisms?  Of course lots of us have such low opinions of ourselves.  This is a malaise we need to find a cure for, and soon.  As long as we continue to turn against ourselves out of a misguided sense of self-preservation, the rest of the world is going to look down on us for our infighting and fractured front.

Realizing I’m preaching to the choir with most of you, this really is a plea to those few of you who would post such a comment.  Grow some balls.  You’ll be happier.


A quick addendum.  Hope you get as big a laugh out of this as I did.  Anyone want to translate what the second half of this means?  Not that I’m terribly worried about it.  The first half of the comment makes some assumptions about my finances he can’t possibly know and which my accountant will find scoffable.  However, anyone who uses “Bye Felicia” as a fake email to hide behind and yet still can’t spell “bye” or “Felicia” correctly is probably not much to worry about.

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  1. Anthony Warner says:

    You Kick Ass Dirk!
    Very proud of you!

  2. Diane White says:

    Dirk these douches are only trying to get a rise out of Jesse and You. Don’t let them get under your skin they are NOT worth it. They are just jealous and wish they had the following that you both have and not all of us who follow you to are in the LGBT Community. Like a posted on Jesse’s FB page a couple of months ago. If you take the time to look up a Gay man’s FB page, Twitter account or Blog your a fan Bitch please. If you don’t like someone for what ever reason don’t spend so much time tracking them down just to make stupid remarks. Just block them and move on. But no these “haters” take so much time to track people and like you said Dirk “try” to make themselves feel better for their insecurities. They are probably ugly as F**K and are a size 4. I hope one of these days I can finally meet the both of you in person I love reading your posts, tweets, blogs and I am starting to get into classical music ALL because of you. Your awesome and I can’t wait to hear more of your music. I wish I stayed with playing the piano but it will do just watching you play. Love you both.

  3. Day Day says:

    Sometime I think the LGBTIQF2BLAH’s biggest issue is itself, we now live in a world, a spectrum of recognition that not many years ago, those of our people persecuted yet standing firm could only dream about. But alas, it is no longer about being Gay, it is not the sole issue, the problem is now Gay + whatever we can drag into the equation. As you mentioned, the username “Gay man With Degree” writes in his authoritarian tone about his perspective, that is fine but I refuse to acknowledge someone who has to state his qualification in his handle, my dear man, it proves nothing. I have seen some very substandard humans depart the campus with the paperwork.
    People are forgetting that they are just human, rife in our Rainbow society is the need to one up each-other on this continual treadmill of self indulgent bullshit, I really feel that very few people are comfortable in their own skin within today’s society. Is it a result of community pressure or stereotypical mantles set by our community? Who know’s but the end result is not good. If this was to happen in another place, country or geographic zone, I am sure the outcome would have been totally different. So lets be real, lets peel the layers back of bullshit negative comment, lets peel back the multi-stack of oneupmanship. As a gay community, unless you can say something positive and contributing towards keeping the legacy of those before us alive, don’t waste your time writing negatively on this blog, after all, I am sure your Degree will have you mightily busy. Going underground with anything in my eyes is dangerous, the light is always most clear on the surface. To those who feel upset by what has happened, stand tall, stand together and be real to each other and the cause.
    Signed: A Gay man from the other side of the world who has watched the Gay community persecute it’s own, who has helped gay men who have suffered the scathing comments just as above, who considers himself a real person who can see through the bullshit.

  4. Tifa says:

    If your brain is drug-addled, then keep snorting those literary sources, because we could all use more of your thought-provoking and articulate word porn.

    I suppose those two are the gay equivalent to “dudebros”.

  5. Grant says:

    I am always amazed at how emotionally tied up some can become over news of a company or celebrity having any kind of issue. Prostitution services have been with us since the beginning and in all likelihood will continue. I am not completely insensitive to the situation as I do realize that as with most thing there is no way to know the complete story unless you are indeed one of the major players in the scenario. I say this in order to point out that I for one have never met or have any knowledge of character or lack thereof of the people at “Rentmen”. They may be lovely people they may be pigs, I dunno. But I do know that I have my own life to live and the idea of getting defensive or expressing any emotional concern about something or someone that I can only know as an image and not real as persons. Setting aside all of the emotional throwing of dust in the air over someone I don’t really know anything about is (in my mind) nothing short of ludicrous. I don’t know that Rentman wasn’t involved in money laundering or other activities that might have been illegal. In which case they should reprimanded. This whole brouhaha seems to me rather silly. If they go away, there will be someone else to take their place. Such is the way of life. Personally there are any number of adult business that I really enjoy and those that I wouldn’t care if they dropped off the face of the earth today. But I am not going to run to their defense or demise. Why can’t we just let people that we really know nothing about simply rise or fall while we attend to our business? I just don’t get it.

  6. John says:

    I was wondering why you even bothered to honor these guys with a posting, but i figured it was for humor. I’m sorry that I underestimated you.
    Thanks for the words on our internalized self-loathing, the perspective of it being a prevalent human condition, and the need for it to end.
    I take a lot of heart in the millennials I meet and know for whom being gay is a cool but unexceptional thing, and whose sex positivity is miles from what I experienced at their age.
    I know i live in a sweet slice of the world, as do they, but I count it as progress none the less.
    Thanks for hoisting our banner.

  7. Dom Martini says:

    Your honest opinions and writing style unnerve people, but that’s a good thing.

    My favorite statement in this article is, “This insecurity in our ranks is what poisons us as a demographic.”

    I am older than you and have endured more criticism and alienation from my gay peers than from any other group.

    You, Mr. Jackman and a few others I read, but unfortunately other gay bloggers I have found to be hypocrites. How can I say that? I had the displeasure of knowing them personally or know people I trust that know them.
    Thank you, again.

  8. Cyn Duby says:

    I’m just pleased you and Jesse use your soapboxes and powers for good! There is no argument that can be made, not truly. That many of our community (LGBT) and society as a whole are afraid of sex as much as they are of death, the sex shaming is second nature to them. Consenting adults. No victims. They can’t understand that and won’t let anyone enjoy that. Furthermore, anyone that does and is successful in adult entertainment is, obviously, (fill in the blank, infinite disparaging choices of words). You know we have your backs and support you, grateful that we have such great guys on soapboxes fighting for the betterment of … well, of more than I can list here.

  9. John says:

    I think the two negative comments come from men who likely have one or both of these issues: jealousy and a puritanical brainwashing background. I’m a lot older than you, and I’ve found over the years that people who complain and judge the loudest are people who are, on the inside, desperate to express their sexual desires, but unable to because of their lack of confidence or because of the guilt that’s been drilled into them by sexually repressed authority figures.

  10. Christopher Braham says:

    Wow! Bravo Dirk! This was even more impressive than Your Rentboy story! Would love for You to Blog more, but alas You are quite busy!

  11. john says:

    You rock ! Some people need a new set of glasses.

  12. Dav says:

    Always a few that want to tell you what to do… Oh well, pass the popcorn.

    I truly like your posting, and read it with interest. And yes – I agreed with the view expressed in it. We live in interesting times with far too many people wanting to make us all live one way or other, and none of them what we may like our lives to be. It seems the old Puritan remains quite alive and well in some.

    Keep up the good work – whatever it is.

  13. Dirk Beach-Barrow says:

    Don’t let the ignorant bitches get to either of you. YOU BOTH ARE THE TOTALLY AWESOME BOMB!! Just “Report – Block – Delete” thing with FB and followup/demand they enforce it! I can’t wait to see a musician-themed movie with you two in it……..

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