So among the lots and lots of supportive comments my blog post from yesterday about the Rentboy.com raid has received, there are two standouts for being rather the opposite.
Sidewinder says “Aren’t you satisfied with the brand new piano your gay faced BF begged for? Go “compose” something or “share your gift”. LOLOLOLOL!! BOTH OF YOU, STOP TRYING TO BE RELEVANT. You come across as a real pain in the ass. You’re a hooker, your BF is a hooker. JUST BE ONE. And please tell your better half that article about telling is mom about his “adult life” was creepy, inappropriate, and downright strange.”
Gay man With Degree writes “This is being sent around by gay men to other gay men as a gag The Idiotic ramblings of a narcotic corrupted brain. Who other than a dope with a brain functioning lower than that of someone with Down’s syndrome would compare slavery laws to prostitution law’s? And saying there’s no other employment opportunities in the world for young gay men is laughable and a pathetic attempt to justify your laziness and retardation Get a life looser”
I couldn’t have asked for better examples of exactly the sort of stupidity I’m talking about, not even looking at the misspellings and faulty punctuation, or the sophomoric handles and email addresses. Here are two gay men, one of whom has to trumpet the fact that he has a diploma to give any weight to his statements. These guys have swallowed the societal misconception, hook, line, and sinker, that there are classes of people who should be treated like animals. And they’re just the men to do it.
Here’s the thing. I know people are going to disagree with me on the Rentboy events and the nature of sex work, and that’s fine. But it seems if you have a good reason to disagree with me, you might present such an argument.
These two gentlemen have only taken the time to find my blog and post, certainly, but all they’ve done is call me names. Perhaps they lack the ability to formulate a reason to disagree with me, but I suspect it’s just laziness. Anyone with any intelligence who wants to see progress would say “But wait, mightn’t such-and-such be true, or don’t you think…?” Instead all they can do is cast insubstantiatible aspersions on my character, of which the majority people will only see evidence to the contrary. I’m sorry, but if someone hasn’t got a good argument for his position, regardless of whether he’ll ever recognize it, he has lost the fight.
The sad thing is that these comments are couched in such a disparaging, condescending tone. If these men had a real argument, they would have presented one. Lacking one, but still feeling some compulsion to beat me, they’ve resorted to slinging monkey shit. If either of them felt secure in their work, in their sexuality, in their life, they wouldn’t feel like they need to place someone, anyone, into a lower position than they feel they are. Being a porn star and a public figure makes us prime lightning rods for this sort of abuse, but it means nothing.
Are we relevant? Are these gentlemen going to be our relevant voices, with this negativity and contempt? Is this what we want for ourselves?
This insecurity in our ranks is what poisons us as a demographic. If the world at large has a low opinion of us, it’s because this is the sort of respect with which we so often seem to be treating ourselves. It’s not unique to gay men; of course this sort of need to find someone to disparage to make one’s self feel better happens across all divisions of society. However, we as gay men are particularly broken folk. Many of us spent our formative years hearing repeatedly how these feelings and inclinations which are so inherent to our beings are vile, evil, and depraved. Is it any surprise that the less thoughtful of us would internalize these criticisms? Of course lots of us have such low opinions of ourselves. This is a malaise we need to find a cure for, and soon. As long as we continue to turn against ourselves out of a misguided sense of self-preservation, the rest of the world is going to look down on us for our infighting and fractured front.
Realizing I’m preaching to the choir with most of you, this really is a plea to those few of you who would post such a comment. Grow some balls. You’ll be happier.
A quick addendum. Hope you get as big a laugh out of this as I did. Anyone want to translate what the second half of this means? Not that I’m terribly worried about it. The first half of the comment makes some assumptions about my finances he can’t possibly know and which my accountant will find scoffable. However, anyone who uses “Bye Felicia” as a fake email to hide behind and yet still can’t spell “bye” or “Felicia” correctly is probably not much to worry about.