Just a really quick post. These two do a really awesome cookshow sendup. Don’t blink, or you’ll miss my cameo…
I have to reproduce this here, because if I copied it out by hand, nobody would believe a gay man actually came up with this humbug:
This was not sent to me on Grindr, but to an acquaintance. Some of these notions are just silly, but I’ve been googling the more outlandish allegations mentioned for the last hour and a half, and I cannot figure out where “Prince” even begins to get these ideas from. There’s some misinformation about PrEP out there, some about the efficacy of it, much about the supposed morality of anyone who would be taking it, and there are websites that perpetuate those lies, but these slanders I can’t even find a source for.
Other than the completely made-up bullshit, he ascribes to Truvada adipose wasting; this was true of far older medications which saved the lives of thousands a few decades ago, but which we don’t use any more. He accuses drug companies not of gross misinformation, but absolute lies, something the FDA wouldn’t stand for, and which our experience with so many thousands of HIV-positive gay men who have been taking Truvada and Truvada-based therapies in some cases for over ten years will simply vouch against. And finally, that last text says it all: the writer of these texts is heartless.
Know the facts. Check out these sites and resources:
And an awesome Facebook page,
Many of us are on PrEP, not out of any rampant fear of infection, not out of any supposed inclination to whore ourselves out irresponsibly, and not really out of any sort of political solidarity with the rest of the intelligent gay community (though if you’re smart, you’ve at least considered the possibility of PrEP!). We do it out of love for each other and so that we keep each other as safe and healthy as possible. We use it as one more tool of many to contain the spread of the infection among our friends and loved ones with whom we curl up. We pornstars do it to help keep the studios we work with remain safe places where THIS doesn’t happen. We all do it for the better well-being of our community and in the hopes that by reducing the number of new infections we do to HIV what vaccination did to Smallpox in the 1960′s.
This catalog of lies at least fell on the ears of someone who recognized them as just that, lies. It’s possible there are still many of us not yet so versed. Please, guys, if you ever see anyone spouting this bullshit, call them out on it. They need to know better, and this contagion of misinformation needs to be contained just as much as the infection itself. It is, after all, far more dangerous; HIV is still a nuisance, if not the threat it was even ten years ago. Lies like these can jeopardize lives, even ruin lives, if not end them.
For those of my fans in Colorado, I’ve a performance of one of my own compositions in Fort Collins on January 31! This is the last movement of my flute sonata.
Especially pleasing is that I’ll be bookending this program with an esteemed composer and musicologist who’s been one of my greatest heroes and champions. I’m meaning to attend; come say hello!
I wanted to leave it be just a bit before I went raising the flag over the fort again, but Facebook, without fanfare or notification or explanation or any sort of apology, has republished my original page. This is probably largely in part to all of you who heard my partner Jesse Jackman‘s appeals, signed the petition (which is still live and still accepting signatures!), and appealed on Facebook’s “lost page” page. For this, I can’t begin to thank you all enough–
Of course, no sooner is it up than some kind follower sees fit to report a photo I’d posted to the page three years ago. It’s one of the first pictures I’d ever uploaded to the Dirk Caber page; it was one of the first images I’d ever texted to Jesse. The image violated Facebook’s Community Standards, by showing “genitals or fully-exposed breasts or buttocks.” Or maybe because of the explicitly shown sexual activity? Or might this possibly be child porn…? I dunno. What do you think I did wrong?
Here’s the thing, and we know this has been going on for a while, as we’ve all known people who’ve been reported and blocked for the most innocuous and inane content in a Facebook post: there are folk out there who seem to think that any content of any gay nature is ipso facto obscene and hence should be reported. It would seem that Facebook would be able to police these reports and make the determination as to whether in fact the material offends. And we know that this does in fact happen; occasionally a vaguely accusatory notice will appear on our login screen that says that such-and-such a photo has been reported but hasn’t been reviewed yet, and that we have the chance to remove the offending photo before Facebook has to do it and slap us with whatever penalty they deem appropriate. Sometimes nothing happens, suggesting that Facebook found the material inoffensive. Would be nice if they told us that too… However, when one of those photos was a picture of me and my brother at his wedding (to a woman), fully clothed, and holding drinks, and this photo WAS deemed offensive, was removed, and I was hit with a three-day Facebook posting moratorium for that, we can say pretty securely that something in that system isn’t working.
Similarly, photos have been removed just of same sex couples kissing. This has happened repeatedly to me and Jesse, and evidently isn’t uncommon among the lesbian population either.
Conversely, and this has been done on an experimental basis by a number of us, we have observed perhaps hundreds of examples of instances where we’ve reported heterosexual sexual content to Facebook. These include pictures of tits, pictures of beautiful nudes and women photographed nude for the sake of laughing at them. Pictures showing female genitalia, both just displayed and being penetrated. It’s not just sexual, this extends to hate content and material condoning violence. And evidently, if any of this is presented in a way that can make a Facebook reviewer laugh, it’s fine. And a few days later we’ve received the notice in our activity logs that Facebook found no problem with such content.
I really couldn’t cite any sort of comprehensive statistic as to how often the Facebook reporting policy works or doesn’t work, either at actually identifying offensive material, or at maintaining a fairness between gay and straight content. What I do see is a much larger expression of outrage over removal of gay content that shouldn’t raise Facebook red flags than I do about straight content which shouldn’t but does. Much has been made in the media about the apparent capriciousness and opacity of Facebook’s review process, and there are entire websites and blogs out there dedicated to the confusion over what Facebook deems offensive and yet what it glosses over as harmless.
So here’s my challenge, in two parts. Go to Facebook, and find a photo somewhere of nude titties or overt sexual activity. For extra credit, find the picture of the girl with her dog’s foreleg stuffed up her hoochie which I reported six months ago and Facebook declined to be offended by. Report that image. When you get the result of the report, take a screen capture of that notification (CTRL-Shift-3 on a Mac; for a PC, press ALT-PrtScn, then create a new drawing in your favorite paint program and press CTRL-v to paste it in). Do it when you first see it, as it’s likely you’ll never see that notification again. Secondly, if some photo of yours gets reported, again, take screen captures of the notification, preferably showing the photo they removed and hopefully showing why. Then send it to me via direct message on my Facebook page (look for the “Message” button below my banner). I’m going to try to collect as many of these images as I can into a presentation as part of a move to force Facebook to reexamine its self-policing policies. Hopefully we can make this otherwise rather vibrant internet resource just a bit less unfair.
So with the presumption that Facebook is never going to allow me to republish my original fanpage, I’m taking the traditional work-around, and building a NEW ONE. It’s still skeletal, but I’m fleshing it out soon, I promise. Let’s get my Likes count back up! 50K+ is a LOT of love I’ve got to make good on!
http://www.facebook.com/CaberDirk — SEE YOU THERE!
Now, nothing on that page hasn’t been published elsewhere on FB in an as-yet unmolested form. My posts in the past eight months have been sporadic at best, but not one has actually even shown me anything more than shirtless. And as nice as it is to have enthusiastic fans, I’ve still been diligent about removing pics and content you all occasionally post which don’t quite agree with Facebook’s standards. My profile is expressly set to exclude minors from seeing it. So here’s Facebook’s explanation for the removal:
My best guess is that this is the same purge that is affecting DJ’s and drag queens with Facebook pages. Because we are often not using our legal names, Facebook is deeming us fake or somehow duplicitous, and removing us accordingly.
I’d be curious to know, though, knowing Facebook’s history of homophobic bias. Can anyone tell me that this is affecting performers across the full sexual spectrum? Are Hollywood actors whose stage names are not their actual real names being removed as well? Are lady DJ’s being hit? Anyone know anything?
I know. I’ve heard ALL the jokes and pickup lines about “what a big horn you have.” Here’s one maybe you haven’t heard: many tubas are in fact “compensating brass instruments.” When you’re done chuckling, you can google that to see what it actually means.
A couple awesome photos taken by the amazing Ron Amato in NYC, featuring a couple of the tubas I play…
Men.com has been SOOO generous with me these last several months. The movie Stepfather’s Secret with Johnny Rapid, Trevor Spade, and Scott Harbor has been a runaway hit, to the point that there’s possibly a sequel in the works–watch this space! Meanwhile however, as you guys seem to enjoy it, MEN has been using me more; in the past several days two more films came out.
The first is Neighbors, in which the unbelievably sexy Billy Santoro and I are a long-term couple who own an apartment building, and are seduced by our two new tenants, Dylan Drive and Trevor Spade. Billy’s just awesome to work with and is becoming an easy friend. This is my second film with him; the first was a scene for BoundGods.com; just the photos of Billy tied spread-eagle give me masturbation material for months… Check out the really HOT way (not kidding) I make myself cum at the end of the scene, too! Anyway, Neighbors has four scenes, of which Billy and I share one already released, and then there’s one more with Dylan which should be released in the next few days.
The other MEN.com release is Men for Sale. I’m only in the third scene, in which I capture undercover cops Jarec Wentworth and Tom Faulk and press them into a black market sex slave ring. Seems I can’t get enough of my own two captives… Literally. Like, both of them at the same time.
Yes, that’s my ass, with TWO large cocks in it at the same time. Any good bottom knows that pulling off a double penetration takes some serious relaxation, and I’m tight to begin with! The stars were in just the right alignment, and Jarec and Tom were easy to work with (that helps, really, it does)… The further challenge is that it’s hard enough just to film penetration between two guys sometimes; the actors have to get close enough to each other to be able to fuck effectively, but they also have to stay far enough apart so that the cameraman can get both some natural-looking light in there and also be able to see with the camera. If your actors tend to be more muscular and have thicker legs and butts, it only gets more challenging. Now throw in an an third body and pair of legs… and you start to see why DP’s are not frequent occurrences in porn. They’re simply hard to capture.That said, I’m up for attempting another sometime here. Jesse’s got a dick for it, if it’s done in a certain position to accommodate that awesome curve of his. Any votes for who our third should be?
A few more photos…
You may or may not have noticed how long it’s been since my last post. There’ve been two reasons– One having to do with a sizeable music project I’ve been swamped with, which I’ll tell you about shortly, but more problematic has been that any time I’ve gone to log on and write, I’ve been greeted by a blank white screen. My technical skills are not nonexistant, but fixing this proved beyond me. Jesse tried his best to figure it out, but he’s also been busy with a few other things lately.
So THANK YOU to Titan director Jasun Mark, who stepped in and knew where in the administrative code something was wrong and how to fix it. Asked how I can make it up to him, he answered “How about actually writing some blog posts?”
I stand rebuked. More coming soon. Thanks again, Jasun!
So I’ve starred in the series Stepfather’s Secret at Men.com. Costarring the very sexy men Johnny Rapid, Trevor Spade, and Scott Harbor, it’s been a huge hit. I’m getting a TON of positive feedback, including a lot of people who speak of this exact scenario being one of their greatest fantasies.
And I also get the occasional person who finds this content absolutely abhorrent. I’ll start out by saying that there are indeed guys out there who were molested in their formative years; of course I completely understand why this might push a big red button for them. But I’m also getting a little trickle of folk who object because they feel that somehow this material makes the gay world look bad.
Answering those objections directly, I am going to point out that in the film Men.com was very careful in scripting and producing these scenes to make these salient points very clear:
- 1. All the stepsons are older than 18. This makes them older than the legal age of consent. It goes without saying, legally, that of course all actors are well above the age of 18 as well. There is no representation, actual or implied, of statutory rape in this movie.
- 2. The sons are all adopted children of my character’s wife; this is made quite clear in her opening conversation in the first scene. As she explains, they are in fact not the stepfather’s adopted children. They are also unrelated to each other. Hence there is no incest depicted, implied or actual.
- 3. All the sons are active and willing participants in the sex. It would be unrealistic to expect the sons to be the instigators, but the scenes start only with the stepfather as the willing facilitator, not the active provocateur. There is no rape or any form of coerced participation shown or implied in these scenes.
Some still object to the age difference. Let’s presume the stepfather is around 40 (as am I) and the sons are between 21 and 25; we’d be looking at a 15 to 20 year age difference. Why is this age difference so objectionable between these age groups when a 30 year old and a 50 year old might fuck with impunity? If you’d tell me a 21 year old is still too immature to know what he’s doing sexually, then why do we place the age of consent at 18? And if a 21 year old is old enough to drive a car, to vote, to drink, and to fight for our country, how the hell is he too young to make his own decisions about his sexuality?
I appreciate the need some people feel to conform to what the straight world might expect of us behaviorally. I also however feel that, as unreasonable as it is for a few straight folk to think that all gay men are sexual predators and rapists out to “convert” the wholesome straight boy (stepson, altar boy, what have you) to a sad life of unfulfilling debauchery, it’s just as unreasonable to think that straight folk set some sort of moral bar. The straight world has been telling us for decades, nay centuries, that we’re perverted and broken and sinful. Some of us are buying into this accusation, and seem to think that we need to toe someone else’s lines of behavior to “prove” ourselves to a populace which might never come around anyway. To suggest that we are now able to convince a minority of stuck-in-the-mud heterosexuals that we’re “just as good as they are” is to suggest that in fact we were foul, uncouth, and unclean in previous generations. And looking at how ingrained into history homosexuals have been, in positions of power, culture, and thought, I’m just not buying that.
The other disturbing thing I note in these responses is a kneejerk need to pass judgement. In this way, we are in fact following exactly the example of those judgemental straight folk who are so fast to tell us what inhuman slime we are. Just as they act based on information that has no source in truth or on no knowledge of any of us personally, similarly we’re fast to come to a negative opinion of a mere porn movie based on a presumption of what it might mean, and that of the darkest interpretation possible. And this doesn’t just happen around this video; it’s a very human tendency. I’m just amazed that we as gay men, having been the brunt of exactly that judgementalism for so long, are so ready to jump the moral gun ourselves. Really, shouldn’t we of all people be better than that?
In realizing on video a fantasy, does anyone really think that the studio would go out of their way to deliberately or negligently portray the corruption of a minor? Even studios which depict S/M and sex in bondage go well out of their way to provide some means of showing that the exchange was in fact consensual. Sex between differently-aged partners is commonplace in gay porn these days, “daddy” being a perhaps increasingly potent fantasy these days. If you want to get upset about something, let’s look at the treatment of our brothers and sisters in Russia, in Africa, in our own christian communities. If you need to level your energies at something we gay men do, rail at unsafe sex practices that keep STI’s a constant threat among us. Take aim at the drug abuse that probably underlies so much of that unsafe sex. Get upset about something which with some reading and understanding you can actually speak intelligently about, instead of something about which we’ve only made an uneducated guess. If we want respect from the heterosexual community, from anyone, or hell, even just from ourselves, that seems a much stronger means of accomplishing it.